Becoming A Man
by alphaangel
Summary: My attempt at creating Ianto's childhood going by what we know. Please review? Little bit of swearing and violence but not much.


This is a bit experimental, I've tried to create a back story for Ianto using everything we know about him. Hopefully it works and brings together everything mentioned about his childhood throughout the three series'. I have proof read this a few times but I tend to read what I think is there rather than what actually is. Please, please, please review cos I haven't written anything in a while and I'd really like to know what you all think.

**Becoming A Man**

**19****th**** August 1983**

"Come on Rhiannon. Your Mammy has a surprise for you." David Jones said, leading his small daughter along the hospital corridors.

He pushed open the door to the ward and let go of Rhiannon's hand as she saw her mother and ran towards her bed.

"Hello cariad." Mary Jones said, stroking her daughters hair back from her face.

"Do you want to meet your baby brother?" She asked Rhiannon, as David carefully picked up his newborn son.

"Say hello to your new brother, his name is Ianto."

"'Lo Yan." Rhiannon whispered, lifting her hand up to gently stroke his soft baby hair.

**19****th**** August 1986**

Ianto woke up early and ran downstairs, eager to open the presents that he knew were hidden there.

"Happy birthday Ianto." His father said, catching him at the bottom of the stairs and lifting him up, the little boy squealed with delight as he was swung around and placed back down on the carpet.

He ran into the living room and into his mother's arms, seeing the brightly coloured parcels piled on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"Penblwydd hapus cariad." His mother said hugging him tightly. "Call Rhiannon down, David."

The family gathered together in the living room to watch Ianto open his presents, who was scattering wrapping paper around in his excitement.

Ianto gently stroked the smooth wood of his new train, handmade by his father. The words caught in his throat as he gazed at the beauty of it. He looked up at his father and breathlessly muttered a quick thank you. His father smiled and patted him of the head. "Have fun with it son."

Ianto ignored the rest of his presents – crayons, a new jumper knitted by his Mam, new shoes. All his attention went on pushing his new train along the carpet, over his father's chair, anywhere.

"What do you want for breakfast, birthday boy?" His Mam asked.

Ianto frowned for a second at the choice. "Scrambled eggs, please." He replied, smiling at his decision and turning his attention back to his train.

Ianto spooned scrambled eggs into his mouth with one hand and pushed his train along the table with the other. His father came downstairs in his suit and kissed Ianto's forehead. "Have a good day, lad. See you tonight."

"Bye Rhiannon." He kissed his daughter on the cheek and went to work.

"Can I have some paper please Mammy?" Ianto asked.

"Here you go, Yan. What are you going to draw?" She replied handing him a sheet.

"My train." He set about his task with his tongue stuck out in concentration, using every one of his new crayons.

Rhiannon watched him from the other side of the table.

"Can I use your crayons?" She asked.

Ianto looked apprehensively at his brand new crayons and then at Rhiannon's pile of broken and chewed crayons. "You'll make them all broken." He said quietly.

"Mammy, Ianto won't share." She shouted.

Ianto held his crayons protectively to his chest.

"They're his birthday present, let him use them first. You've got your own that are perfectly good." Their mother replied before going back to her ironing.

"Your picture is rubbish, doesn't even look like a train!" Rhiannon muttered under her breath, grinning as she watched Ianto's eyes fill with tears.

"I heard that Rhiannon, don't be so mean. It's a very good drawing, sweetheart."

Ianto gave her a watery smile, "I'm going to give it to Daddy."

**16****th**** September 1989**

"Come on Ianto, put your shoes on quick or we'll miss the start."

Ianto was sat at the bottom of the stairs concentrating on tying his laces, he had only just learnt to do his laces up himself and it still took him a while, he liked the bows to be perfect. He finished the knot and jumped up, grinning proudly at his father. Today was their Saturday together and they were going to the cinema.

Ianto loved going to the cinema with his Dad, he loved the smell of the popcorn, the whir of the projector and the feel of the plush cinema seats.

He always found the entrance to The Electro overwhelming. The bright lights shone from the windows, glowing in the September drizzle. People queued cheerfully outside despite the rain. He squeezed his Dad's hand with pure excitement.

"What are we going to see Daddy?" Ianto asked, pulling his father's sleeve.

"'The Land Before Time'"

"What's it about?"

"Dinosaurs."

"Cool!" Ianto said, pulling his Dad along behind him in a rush to get into the queue.

"So which dinosaur was your favourite?" David asked, as they emerged back into the daylight.

"Petrie, I want to be able to fly when I grow up!"

"Do you?" His father said with a laugh, watching Ianto running along ahead of him with his arms out flapping.

**18****th**** December 1990**

"Well, look who it is!" David Jones exclaimed as his family walked into the shop. "What are you doing here?" He asked kissing his wife.

"I'm doing some Christmas shopping but I don't want Ianto out in this cold, not with his cough. Can I leave him here with you?"

Ianto peered up at his dad through the gap between his woolly hat and his scarf. "Think you can be my apprentice for the day, son?"

Ianto nodded eagerly.

"Well, we'd best get you unwrapped." He said pulling the hat off Ianto's head, leaving his dark hair ruffled. He hung Ianto's coat beside his own overcoat and unravelled the scarf. "Ah, I knew you were in there somewhere!" David said grinning at his small son.

David turned instantly upon hearing the tinkle of the bell above the door. "Good morning, Sir." He greeted the customer with a polite smile. "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you."

"What can I do for you?"

"I need a new suit."

"In that case you've come to the right place. 32 inches, sir – your inside leg length."

"How can you tell?"

"I just can, sir. Right, Ianto, can you get me my tape measure?"

Ianto grabbed the tape measure and ran over to his father with it. He watched his father in awe as he worked.

**2****nd**** March 1992**

"Something's wrong." Ianto said suddenly, grabbing Rhiannon's hand and pulling her back.

"What? Don't be daft, Ianto."

"Dad's car, why is it here?"

"I dunno, maybe he's shut the shop early."

"He never shuts the shop early."

"Well there's a first time for everything!" Rhiannon said marching up the drive.

"No, Rhi, stop. Something's wrong."

"Grow up, Ianto." She said opening the front door. "We're home Mam, why's Dad's car outside?" She shouted, slamming the door behind them.

"Go out and play in the garden, you two." Mary said looking strained.

"But it's cold outside and I've got homework to do." Rhiannon whined.

"Do as I say Rhiannon."

Rhiannon stomped outside and sat moodily down on the swing their father had built the summer before.

"I heard Daddy say that he was losing the shop. How can he lose a shop? It's too big to lose and it doesn't move." Ianto, sitting down on the next swing.

"No, it's because of the recession."

"What's a recession?"

"It's where the bank manager takes your stuff away."

"Why does he do that?"

"Dunno." Rhiannon shrugged.

"Why didn't the bank manager just get his own shop?"

"Must have really wanted Daddy's."

**23****rd**** May 1992**

"Is this it?" Rhiannon asked indignantly, looking around their new dingy flat.

"Looks it." Ianto said running in the direction of his new bedroom with his dinosaur bag on his back. The size of the flat didn't bother him. As long as he had his own room to put his things where Rhiannon couldn't get them.

"Stop giving me that look Rhi. We've just got to make the best of it." Mary said, catching sight of the grumpy look on her daughter's face.

"Where's Dad?"

"Out." Mary muttered, her husband had taken then first opportunity to disappear off to the nearest pub leaving her to unpack and entertain two confused children.

**19****th**** July 1992**

"Daddy, will you push me on the swings?"

"Yeah, go on then." David replied, following his son over to the swings.

David pushed Ianto on the swings, pushing him higher and higher. He had one eye on Rhiannon who was playing in the slide, he didn't notice as Ianto's squeals turned from delight to fear as the swing got higher.

"No, I'm going to fall." He shouted.

"Just hold on tightly."

"No, I'm going to fall!" He shouted again.

"You're a big boy now. Stop being childish."

"Daddy, Daddy, look at me!" Rhiannon shouted from the top of the slide.

David took his eyes off Ianto and walked over towards the slides. He heard a scream moments later from Ianto and turned to see Ianto on the ground beside the swing.

"Son, what's wrong?"

Ianto was pale, but silent, pointing at his leg.

**28****th**** January 1993**

Rhiannon came out of her bedroom to see what all the shouting was about. It was the early hours of the morning and she had been woken by the sound of screaming and slamming doors. She found her brother huddled at the top of the stairs in his pyjamas looking frightened.

"Why are they shouting?" He whispered.

Rhiannon listened to the shouting for a second. "He's drunk." She said bluntly.

"What?"

"Dad is drunk."

"Why?"

"Oh, come on Ianto, grow up. He goes down the pub every night and gets pissed."

Another door slammed, Rhiannon ran back to her bedroom leaving Ianto stood on the stairs. He could hear his father's unsteady footsteps coming towards him.

"Ianto, come here." David slurred.

Ianto hesitated, stepping backwards into the wall.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" David said raising his hand to his son, smacking his head and knocking him sideways. He paused, seeing his son had fallen onto the carpet through the force off his attack. Guilt set in, he couldn't stand to look at his son like that. He shuffled on to his bedroom, leaving Ianto on the floor.

**20****th**** May 1998**

"What's wrong?" Ianto said, dropping down on the grass beside his sister.

"Nothing." Rhiannon lied, looking down at the blades of grass in her hand. Ianto raised his eye brows but didn't say anything. "I leave school in a few weeks."

"Yeah, I had noticed that!" Ianto replied sarcastically.

"We're having this prom thing."

"Yes, I also know that. I know everything." He said smirking.

"It's stupid."

"The prom?"

"No, not the prom. What I'm upset about. That's stupid."

"Well what are you upset about?"

"The tickets are fifteen quid."

"Oh."

"I haven't got the money, and I can't ask Mam for it. But I really wanted to go. I was going to wear that dress that I'm making for my textiles project. And Johnny wants me to go with him."

"You should go."

"And where am I going to get fifteen quid from?"

"I'll get it for you."

"Don't be daft, Ianto. Where you going to get it from?"

"I'll get it. I promise. You shall go to the ball, Cinderella!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll find the money, I'll do some jobs for neighbours or something."

"Thanks Ianto."

"Er, when have you got to have bought the ticket by?"

Rhiannon bit her lip. "Monday."

Ianto smiled. "No problem. You'd better get that dress finished then."

"Yeah, I had." Rhiannon grinned before kissing her brother on the cheek and running towards the textiles room.

"Shit." Ianto muttered under his breath as she ran away. Where was he going to find fifteen quid from in five days?

Ianto had a sinking feeling. He'd tried everyone he could think of and no one had any jobs. Well, nothing for a fourteen year old any way that would give him cash in a few days. He was going to have to tell Rhiannon that he couldn't get the money after all. He'd have to break his promise to her.

He tapped lightly on her bedroom door, half hoping that she wouldn't hear him. His heart broke a little when he saw her stood in her finished dress looking so happy.

"What do you think?" She asked doing a twirl.

"It's great, you look great. Your definitely going to get an A for that."

"Well, I dunno about that but..." She turned back to look at herself in the mirror.

"Are you sure you can get the money?" She asked biting her lip nervously.

This was it, the moment he had to destroy his sister's happiness. He opened his mouth to tell her that he couldn't get the money but he couldn't make the words come out.

"Yeah, it's fine. It's just going to take me a couple of days."

Rhiannon sighed with happiness. "Thanks Yan. You're such a star."

Ianto left the house with a frown on his face, he wasn't stupid and he wasn't naive. He knew how the other kids on the estate made money. Shoplifting. He just never thought he would commit a crime. He knew the difference between right and wrong. He hated injustice. He hated the idea of committing a crime. But he couldn't stand letting his sister down. If he didn't get the money then he would spend the rest of his life hating himself for not being brave enough to make a simple sacrifice for his sister.

Surely he could get away with stealing something. The other kids did it all the time. He'd target a big shop, one that would hardly notice something worth fifteen quid going missing. No one would be hurt really. And it would make Rhiannon so happy.

He had to do it quickly. Before he chickened out. The local supermarket was open late. He headed off in the direction of the store with a plan of grabbing something small and getting the Hell out of there. Then he could sell it on at school the next day.

He stood in the makeup aisle, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching his and then he grabbed a handful of nail polish, lipstick, blusher, paying no attention to what it was he was picking up. He stuffed them in his coat pocket and got out of the shop as fast as he could.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he walked through the doors and out into the rain. He thought he'd got away with it until he felt a hand grab his arm. He looked back over his shoulder to see the stern face of the security guard. "I think you'd better come with me lad."

Ianto allowed himself to be led back into the shop without struggling, he knew there was no point.

"Call the police, Jane, we've got a little thief here." The security guard shouted, causing several customers to turn around and watch Ianto as he was marched to the store managers office.

The security guard pushed Ianto into a chair. "What's your name kid?"

Ianto remained silent.

"I'm not really bothered if you tell me or not. The police will get it out of you."

Ianto wanted to beg him not to tell the police but he had too much pride so he kept his mouth shut.

"Fine, we'll just sit here and wait then."

Ianto watched the clock tick slowly as they waited in silence for door to open and two officers enter.

"Watched him sticking makeup in his coat pocket and then make a run for it."

"Wouldn't have thought you'd be one for wearing makeup. Gay as well as a thief?" One of the police officers said with a smirk on his face.

"What's your name kid?"

"Ianto Jones."

"How old are you?"

"Fourteen."

"Ok, Ianto Jones, I am arresting you on suspicion of theft, you do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be given in evidence." The officer grabbed Ianto's arm tightly and led him out of the shop.

"We're letting him off with a caution, seeing as it's his first offence and the property was recovered." The officer said as he led David to where Ianto was sat. "You can take him home and deal with him as you see fit."

"Thanks." His father said sighing and glaring at Ianto. He pushed Ianto out of the police station.

"You stupid little boy." David said holding Ianto by his collar against a wall. He used the back of his hand to smack Ianto across the face, causing his head to collide with the wall.

"What's your Mam going to say, she is going to be so ashamed of you. We raised you better than that boy."

"Please Dad. Don't tell Mam and Rhi, please."

"You've been so stupid boy!" David shouted, punching Ianto in the ribs.

Ianto gasped slightly, struggling to catch his breath. "I know. But Mam will be so disappointed, please don't tell her. Punish me however you want but don't tell them."

"Ok, but I'm doing that for your Mam, not for you. We've got enough to deal with, without you acting up as well."

"I'm sorry."

"You're going to make nothing of your life. I wanted more for you. But you're just a waste of space. You're going to end up in some dead end job with no hope and no future. Or you're going to end up in prison if you carry on like this."

"No I won't." Ianto shouted, pushing back at his father. "I'm going to make something of my life, and I'm going to leave this shitty town and get away. I'm not you Dad, I'm nothing like you."

"No you're not. I don't even know who you are. I had so much hope for you when you were little. I don't want anything to do with you. You're no son of mine." David released his hold of Ianto and walked towards his car. "You can find your own way home, Ianto."

Ianto walked the long way home. His father's words were going around and around in his head. He was a disappointment, a failure.

He pushed his hands into his pockets, he frowned when he felt something hard in the lining, the hole in his pocket where he was always finding change. He pulled two bottles of nail polish, mascara and an eye liner pencil out the hole. The police officer must have missed this when he was being searched, too busy trying to wind Ianto up to be concentrating properly.

He put the makeup back in his pocket and headed home, knowing that his family would already be asleep and he could sneak in without anyone noticing.

He got up early the next morning after a night of no sleep, he left the house before anyone was up and went to school. He knew who would buy stolen goods from him. He found him sat smoking behind the school building.

"I've got something to sell, Steve." Ianto muttered to him, sitting down beside him.

Steve looked carefully at him. "It's Ianto, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Fag?" He asked, offering him the packet.

Ianto hesitated, he'd never smoked before but he didn't want Steve to know that. He nodded, accepting a cigarette and lighting it. He took the makeup out of his pocket and handed it to Steve.

"I'll give you a tenner for it."

"Fifteen."

"Nah mate." Steve said laughing at him.

"I need fifteen. It's worth much more than that."

Steve sighed. "Alright, just this once." He pulled a couple of screwed up notes out of his pocket and handed them to Ianto. "Maybe we can make this a regular arrangement."

Ianto finished off the cigarette, stood up and stubbed it out. "No, thanks." He muttered as he walked away.

He found Rhiannon sat with her friends under a tree. He beckoned her over to him.

"Shit Ianto, what happened to you? Has someone been giving you a hard time?" She asked, taking his chin and moving his head so she could get a better look at the bruises.

"It's nothing, bumped into something."

"Yeah someone's fist by the look of it."

"I was doing some gardening for someone, knocked it on a branch that I was cutting. Anyway, I got you the money you need."

"Seriously?"

He handed her the cash.

She forgot all about his bruises in her excitement. "Thanks Ianto." She pulled him into an embrace, causing him to wince slightly in pain. "I'm going to go and get my ticket now." She squealed, running off towards the school building.

**13****th**** January 1999**

"Dad? Why aren't you at work?" Ianto asked, seeing his father walk past him. He was walking through the park on his lunch break from school.

"What's it to you?" David replied, trying to stumble away from his son.

"Are you drunk? Jesus Dad, it's only midday."

"Stop being so holy Ianto."

"You're pathetic, you're going to lose your job if you carry on like this – again!"

"Piss off Ianto. Go back to you childish little lessons."

"Go and sober up." Ianto said, pushing his father in the direction of their home.

David stumbled as Ianto pushed him. "Don't push me, you stupid little brat." He slurred, lifting his fist and swinging at Ianto. His fist collided with Ianto's jaw with a thump.

Ianto's coolness broke. He clenched his own fist and punched his father.

David looked shocked, he couldn't believe that Ianto had retaliated, he hadn't ever before. Ianto was just as shocked. David stared at Ianto for a second. "You've been waiting to do that!" David said with a laugh. He launched at Ianto again, punching him in the stomach. Even drunk, he could beat Ianto easily into submission.

"Don't you ever even think about punching me again, boy!" David said venomously, walking away in the direction of the nearest pub.

**8****th**** November 1999**

Ianto handed the mug of coffee to the customer and turned to greet the next person in the queue.

"So this is where you've been sneaking off to then. Your Mam and I thought you must have some girl friend. It's a bit poncy in here isn't it. Maybe we should have been more concerned about a boy friend."

"Can I get you something?" Ianto asked, ignoring his father's attempt at provocation.

"What would you suggest?"

"Our latte's are very good."

"I'll have one of them then."

Ianto turned to the coffee machine, placing a mug below it. "That's two pound thirty please."

"Just for a coffee?" David scoffed, pulling some coins out of his pocket and dropping them into Ianto's outstretched hand. Ianto picked up the mug and handed it to his father.

"Thank you." He said with a false smile.

David took his mug and sat at a table in the corner, watching Ianto as he continued working.

Ianto did his best to ignore his father staring at him but it was very off putting. He turned his attention back to his customers, the stream of them continued steadily.

At some point during the afternoon, Ianto looked up from the coffee machine and noticed that the chair his father had occupied was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Ianto saw the last customer out of the coffee shop and turned the sign on the door to closed. He cleared the last few mugs and wiped down the tables.

"You can get off now Ianto." The manager called from behind the counter.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, thanks for your help."

Ianto swapped his apron for his coat. "Good night." He called as he headed out the door. He walked along the front of the shop, around the corner and into his father.

"What are you still doing here?" He asked, pushing passed him.

"Is that it boy? Are you gay?" David called after him.

"No I'm not."

"Why do you want to work in a place like that then?"

"It's just a job. Why do you care?" Ianto asked, turning back to face him.

"Just taking a interest. Is it so bad that I want to know whether my son is a poof."

"Don't use that word. And anyway, I thought I wasn't your son anymore."

"You still live under my roof. I'll use whatever words I want."

"Piss off back to the pub. I'm going home." Ianto said, turning around and continued walking down the road.

"Don't you turn your back on me son."

"What are you going to do? Beat me up? Again? You don't scare me anymore. I'm not a child, smacking me around the head isn't going to make me do as you say."

David pushed him up against the wall. "While you live in my house, you will do as I say." He snarled.

"This is familiar isn't it." Ianto said indicating their position. "How many times have you threatened me like this? All you've accomplished is to lose my respect for you. I used to really look up to you when I was a kid. What a mistake that was."

David placed a hand to his throat. "I won't accept a gay son."

"Working in a coffee shop does not make me gay, you idiot." Ianto retorted.

"You stupid, stupid boy." David said losing his temper completely.

**7****th**** August 2001**

"What's going on?" Ianto asked, he'd walked into the living room to find Rhiannon holding their mother, both looked shocked and their eyes were reddened. Two police officers were stood in front of the fireplace looking grave.

"I'm afraid there has been an accident." The older officer began gently. "Your father was involved, he died at the scene. I'm sorry."

Ianto barely heard what the officer said. The colour drained from his skin, he reached out to catch himself on the door handle. "He's dead?"

"I'm sorry."

Ianto removed his hand from the door handle and stood up straight."What happened?" He asked, showing no emotion, a mask had slipped into place.

"Your father's car was involved in a crash."

"Was he drunk?" He asked bluntly.

"We've only just started our investigation." The younger officer said shrugging.

Ianto turned around to leave the room.

"Ianto, where are you going?" Rhiannon shouted after him.

"Fresh air." He murmured.

**14****th**** August 2001**

"It's ok to be upset Ianto." Rhiannon said, fiddling with the knot of his tie.

"Why would I be upset?" Stepping away from Rhiannon's hands and retying his tie in front of the mirror.

"Because it is our Dad funeral today." Rhiannon sighed, sitting down on his bed.

"He disowned me years ago. Why should I care that he's dead. We're better off without him."

"Ianto, don't you dare say that. He was still our father."

Ianto ignored his sister, instead smoothing out his duvet which she had messed up by sitting down.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Me? What's wrong with you? You seem to have forgotten what he was like."

"I know you two had you differences but he's dead, give him a break."

"You have no idea what you are talking about, Rhiannon."

"What did he do that was so bad Ianto? What did he do that made you hate him? You used to idolise him, you were his favourite when we were little and then it all changed. What was it? You were ashamed that he'd lost the shop, is that it?"

"No! I hated him because..." He stopped suddenly seeing her face. "I'm going to wait outside." He said quickly and left her alone in his room.

**16****th**** August 2001**

Ianto picked up the post from the door mat, rifling through the bills and sympathy cards to find the plain white envelope with his name on it. He left the rest of the post on the kitchen table and went back to his bedroom to open his results in private. His Mam and sister hadn't even remembered that his A Level results came out today. It was the last thing on their minds.

He opened the envelope with shaking fingers, he read the writing quickly and sighed. He'd done it, he'd been accepted to study History at King's College London. He needed to get away even more now, he just didn't know how he would tell his Mam and Rhiannon.

"Ianto, can you give me a lift to my antenatal appointment, Johnny's got to work." Rhiannon said, bounding into his room without knocking.

"Yeah, sure." He said, stuffing the letter out of sight as quickly as possible.

"What's that you've got there Yan?" She asked, grabbing the letter from where he had hidden it. Her smile dropped as she read down the page. "You're leaving us then?" She asked.

"I've been accepted."

"You're going to go?"

Ianto shrugged.

"Can't you wait, reapply next year? Things will be better then."

Ianto shook his head. "I need to go Rhi. I'll still come and visit. I have to go, I just can't stay around here."

"So that's it. Dad died days ago and your pissing off to London."

"I have to go. I can't stay here. I can't turn out like him." He took hold of her hand, trying to make her understand. "Please Rhi, I just need to get away."

"Fine." She said, shaking his hand away. "Just piss off then. Don't even look back. We don't need you Ianto." She said walking away.

"Rhi, come back. I'll take you to your appointment and we can talk." He said following her down the stairs.

"Don't bother, I'll go on the bus." She shouted.

"What's all this shouting for?" Mary asked, coming between her warring children.

"Ianto is leaving us, he's pissing off to London."

"Don't be daft Rhi."

"Go on, ask him."

"Yan?"

Ianto avoided her eyes. "My results have come."

"Oh, Ianto, I'm sorry. What with the funeral and everything, I'd forgotten the date."

Ianto raised a hand to stop her apologies. "It's fine."

"How did you do?"

"An A and two B's."

"That's great, you got into Cardiff then."

Ianto looked down guiltily. "I never applied to Cardiff. My first choice was King's."

"Why didn't you apply to Cardiff?"

"Because..." Ianto sighed, now was the time. "Because I didn't want to stay in Cardiff. I'm sorry, I just can't."

"It's ok, Yan. You needed a fresh start, away from your father."

"I'm sorry Mam. I just can't stay in Cardiff, there's too much history here, especially now."

"It's ok Yan." She said, placing her hand on his cheek. "You need to go and be yourself. So you go to London and you work hard, you're going to be amazing Cariad."

Ianto closed his eyes to stop the tears sneaking out from beneath his eyelids, he leaned into her touch savouring it.

"Please try to understand Rhi. You're future is all ready to start, you've got Johnny and the baby. This is my future. Please don't hate me."

**18****th**** September 2001**

"You're going then?" Rhiannon asked, leaning against his door frame, with her hand resting on her bump.

"I'm just going to uni. It's not like I'm going to another planet. I'll probably be home for Christmas."

"Yeah right."

Ianto pulled the last box from under his bed to sort through. He breathed in a deep breath, seeing the wooden train his father had made nestled carefully beneath tissue paper. He picked it up, allowing his fingers to gently stoke its smooth surface.

Rhiannon had turned to walk away from his room but turned back when she heard a sob erupt from his chest. "Oh, Ianto." She murmured, sitting down on his bed and pulling her little brother towards her. "Try to remember the good times and forget the bad." She whispered.


End file.
